I can’t believe that I did it!!!! I did my extended silence for 2 days!!! Wow what an experience. I had been avoiding meditation my whole life and thus avoiding a relationship with my higher self. The pain was so intense in my body that it had me terrified and stopped me from pursuing this practice. I would meditate or ‘do’ mindfulness with my eyes open just to feel safe. Luckily the SIT from the weekly Master Key lessons we have been doing every day for the past 23 weeks has reduced my fear considerably. I still did have anxiety throughout the silence but was better at how to let it go and be open to receiving.
So I asked what do I need to hear. Of course what showed up in the silence was facing the question we have been asking ourselves for the past few weeks – “what am I pretending not to know?”. My favorite quote by Marianne Williamson really hit home so deeply as if hearing it for the first time.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ”Marianne Williams
I was compelled to write down a long list of beliefs about myself such as: I wasn’t good enough or smart enough or thin enough or popular enough. What I am pretending not to know is that I had given away my power to everyone in my life that I had believed were better than me. I did a long meditation after this experience and visualized getting back my power in all the areas that were on my list and from as many people throughout my entire life that I could think of that represented these beliefs for me.
During my silence I wrote out by hand the above word cloud of all of the Infinite Possibilities
that are available when living from Pure Potentiality which I blogged about last week. I focused on each of the other words and still continue to bring these areas into my SIT daily in getting to know the new me and MY HIGHER SELF.
Not to brag or anything but she IS DEFINITELY ENOUGH and more so and everything I thought I wasn’t!!!!!!!
Needless to say, my life has not been the same since my silence weekend and continues to unfold this week in magical and mysterious ways.